Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
