I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
