Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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