Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize