No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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