he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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