yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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