And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
