i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
