I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
two words...techno handjob
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
