Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
