Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
