Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
