She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
