ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
