The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
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i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
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I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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