The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
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Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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