i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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