just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
