even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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