Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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