There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
