They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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