It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
