Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
