ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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