East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
