How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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