How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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