Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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