You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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