I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
