hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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