yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
