Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i think i have herpe
just one?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
