East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
