i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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