dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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