I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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