I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
