My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
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mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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