Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
