DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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