bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
