So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
