I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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