my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
