Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
