You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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