You can't motorboat a personality
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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