I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
