i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
