I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
