yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
