How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize