I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
