also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize