In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
