i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
