That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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