Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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