I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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