508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
