the condom got lost in my hair
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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