It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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