In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
