You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
