weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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